God is Good

Six years ago we had a financial need and God blessed me with the opportunity to keep a sweet, little baby boy in our home. Gareth quickly became part of our family and spent the next 5 school years with us. The extra income was wonderful, but the match with Gareth and his family was equally so. God had met our need better than we could have anticipated.

Last spring as Gareth was preparing to enter kindergarten, Joey and I began to talk about what should come next for our family. As much as we enjoyed having a friend in our home, we both felt it was time for it to be "just us" again. Especially with Alexander on the way, I didn't want to have my attentions divided any further than they had to be.

But it was hard to think about giving up the additional income with so many mouths to feed. I knew in my heart of hearts that we were making the right decision and that God would meet our needs, but I still went into the new school year holding my breath, not exactly sure how the budget was going to pan out.

And yet, I should have just exhaled and remembered that God promises to take care of all my need, to do exceeding abundantly above all that I could ask or think, that He wants me to prosper (not just squeak by) and be in health. I do not need to be anxious or afraid...He already has the answer. I just need to trust Him and walk boldly and with confidence on what He has promised in His Word.

I did grab my mind and confess these truths when I started feeling anxious last August. And then I did my best to do what God has called me to do:

1. Believe
2. Pray
3. Abundantly Share...give back to God from what He has blessed us with
4. Wait with excitement for the blessings and answers He has in store for me

So here's what's happened so far this year:

1. I signed up for new health insurance - Christian Healthcare Ministries - before I knew I was going to have Alexander. CHM covered 100% of my maternity, labor, and delivery costs.
2. A friend at the high school encouraged us to start a Teachers Pay Teachers store. It is a perfect fit for us...we can work on it when we have the time. We did and sales are slowly starting to pick up. Every dollar helps, right?
3. Another neighbor and friend had extra fruit and veggies leftover from her produce deliveries and asked could she drop them at our house each week. We have LOVED these weekly treats!
4. We took a good, hard look at our spending habits and made some simple changes that added up to big savings.
5. Throughout the year there have been little extra pockets of money in our bank accounts that I could not account for on my monthly budget spreadsheet.
6. At Christmas, we received an anonymous card with a very generous Walmart gift card inside.
7. In January, Joey received a hefty bonus for his IB English test scores.
8. Thanks to Alexander and the additional child tax credits, we will be getting back significantly more in our tax return this year.
9. And, just yesterday, I was notified that an anonymous good Samaritan paid for our summer pool membership! To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement! 

So you see, God provided as He always does...in ways I could never have imagined or anticipated. I am so thankful for this lesson and the opportunity to grow in my believing and walk that this year has provided. God is good...all the time. 

And to the incredibly kind and generous person who paid for one of our most favorite things - THE POOL!!! - "thank you" does not begin to be sufficient. We are so humbled by your walk of love and so thankful for this blessing. Though we do not know your name, we will continually pray for you and ask that God bless you back many times over! 

God Cares About the Little Things (The Story of the Pink Guitar)

Now unto Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we could ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Ephesians 3:20

About this time last year we found out that our homeschool co-op would be offering a beginner guitar class in the coming school year. Lily was thrilled. She had been asking to learn how to play the guitar for several years, but we hadn't made time in our busy schedule or room in our family budget to allow her to try learning a musical instrument. Now she would finally have the chance.

For me, that meant that I spent the summer in search of an affordable (most likely used) starter guitar. But since it's almost impossible to find a guitar (even a used one) that doesn't sound like a toy when it's played for less than $100, the search went on and on and on. During the hunt, Lily announced that she would really like a pink guitar. I was unaware that non-toy guitars came in colors and since all I really cared about was finding a good deal on a decent instrument, I told her color was not a priority. We were going to get the guitar we could afford. But I also told her a story I had heard many years ago:

Many, many years ago there was a minister that had a weekly radio show. He would talk about God's Word and people would call in with their prayer requests. One evening a woman called and told the minister that she was in need of a new home. She wanted him to add her need to his prayer list and added that she would really like the living room of the new home to have red curtains. The minister thought that was a silly request. After all, a home is a need. It doesn't matter what kind of curtains are in the living room. But, he told the woman he would pray for her new home. Some time went by and during another broadcast, the woman called back to tell the minister that God had blessed her with a home. "And when I walked into the living room, there were red curtains in the windows," she said.

So see, God cares about the little things, I told Lily. The minister thought her request was silly, but God didn't. God loves us. Why shouldn't the woman have red curtains her living room if that's what would bless her? The color of your guitar may only be important to you, but God loves you and wants to bless you. Go to Him in prayer and we'll see what he provides. I know whatever it is, it will be the best guitar for you.

More time passed. The start of the new school year was only days away and I still hadn't found a guitar for Lily. I had decided to settle on one I'd found on Amazon. The reviews weren't great, but it was the right size and in our price range. Right before I ordered it, I felt a tugging in my heart to check craigslist one more time. It was that still, small, quiet voice and I am so glad I was listening that day because when the page opened up I found this:

This $300 guitar was being sold for $50. I had seen it in a previous search and the reviews were great. Right size, right price. But the best part of all? It was PINK. I almost cried when I told Lily about it. "Look what God provided for you!!! It's better than I ever could have imagined!!!"

But the story gets even better. Turns out the little girl it belonged to didn't really use it at all. For all intents and purposes it was brand new. And, though I didn't attempt to haggle over the price, the mom only took $40 for it. That's "exceeding abundantly above." That's God.

I've been thinking about this story a lot the last few days. My heart and mind have been distracted with the many changes coming for our family in the next few months. New babies, new activities, new work endeavors, changes in our finances. There is much about which to rejoice, but there are also many things over which I could sit and worry. How will this work? Can I do it? Will that be enough? And recently on one really rough evening with the kids...oh my gosh, what are we doing???

It would be easy to get consumed with the unknown, but instead I choose to focus on prayer, on being thankful and praising God for all He has done and continues to do for us, on bringing favorite bible verses to my mind. Ones that remind me that God loves me, He will never leave me, He will protect me, He will meet my every need, He will comfort me, and that I never have to be afraid. And I think about that pink guitar. Because if God cares about the color of a 9-year-old's guitar, then he cares about my stuff too...the little stuff and the big stuff. 

When there is so much light, the darkness has to flee. And God loves me - and you - more than anyone else ever could. And he sees that - although we mess up (for me, sometimes it's a lot) - we are trying our best to know Him, love Him, and serve Him and are endeavoring to teach our children to do the same. So we can trust Him to be faithful. And sure, we'll still work as hard as we can at all our different jobs and we'll try to be good stewards of all God has blessed us with (not eating out as much and making the kids hand-me-downs stretch as far as they can), but it's God who will give the increase. And it is He who will receive all the praise and glory every step along the way.

What My Kids Reminded Me on Spring Break 2017

The week before Spring Break Lily got the flu. Finn followed 2 days later. I rushed around nursing patients that week amongst our regular school schedule, boasting that I hadn't had the flu since I was in 2nd grade when my husband expressed concern that I was exposing my pregnant body to this serious illness. I'm tough, I insisted. I'll be fine. And then I got it...or something that looked and felt a lot like it. And I was bedridden. And suddenly our spring break plans - the ones we'd be talking about, looking forward to, studying and researching about all semester - were in jeopardy. We broke this news to the kids in the late afternoon on Saturday, just hours before we were supposed to pull out of the driveway on our adventure. Mom's just too sick to travel. We can't go tomorrow. We'll see how the next few days go and then maybe...

I won't say there weren't tears and disappointed faces in those first few moments. But there were also words of encouragement and support. "It's OK, Mom," and gentle pats on my arm. And in the days that followed I watched my children bear a great disappointment with grace. I listened as they played happily outside, making their own fun in our backyard. I heard their laughter as Joey cracked jokes at the dinner table. They nursed me, bringing me water, checking to see if I wanted a popsicle, and they entertained themselves as Joey tried to juggle all the responsibilities of mom and dad. More than once I heard him exclaim, "Is this what you do to your mom all the time???" as someone announced for the millionth time that day that they were STARVING.

By Monday I was beginning to rally so we decided to try to leave early Tuesday morning in an effort to salvage what was left of our Spring Break. From my command post on my bed, I gave orders to the kids who brought me piles of clothes to pack, baskets of laundry to fold, and handled all the chores of cleaning and preparing the house for the trip. Joey left on a mission to get our van running again...did I mention the battery had died the week before?...and thankfully it was just a simple fix.

Tuesday morning we were up at 4 and finally pulled out of the driveway at 6:30. Tuesday - National Zoo, Wednesday - Hershey, Thursday - Washington D.C., Friday - Gettsyburg and home. It was a busy 4 days. Some of it was really fun...some of it was not. Imagine that 90 million people all decide to go to your spring break destination and then get in front of you in every line. There was a low point on Thursday when we'd been walking for 2 hours without stopping and hadn't gotten to see ANYTHING. National Archives? Line down the street. Ford's Theater? All shows sold out for the day. White House? I'm sorry, we're closing off this area. You'll have to go around, say the Secret Service. By the time we trudged to the top of the hill to see the Washington Monument, we were here...

This picture actually provided some much needed levity after what had been a frustrating day. It was our own little "Weekend at Bernie's" and our two little rolling corpses brought smiles to quite a few other tourists.

This is kind of how our vacation went...the ying and the yang of exhaustion, sickness (Joey and I were both sick by now), and things not going the way we'd planned juxtaposed with moments of pure sweetness and joy born from just being together. Our pre-teen snuggling into her dad's shoulder unexpectedly, Eli's unbridled excitement over being at the zoo...begging to see "just 3 more animals PLEASE!" when everyone else has wilted, Google randomly talking in the middle of Joey's morning prayers and sending us all into hysterics, the seriousness with which they sampled chocolate and tried to learn to be palateers, Lily making friends at the hotel pool, Finn holding my hand as we made the trek from the Lincoln Memorial back to Union Station. Their attitudes. Watching them rally when they were exhausted beyond measure, encouraging me when I felt like laying down where I stood, their patience to handle having to wait and disappointment when our plans just didn't work out, Lily pushing the stroller with 2 kids in it to give her dad a break. They chose their attitude, chose to be thankful and happy, regardless of whether they were at home, being turned away at Ford's Theater, or sampling chocolate. It was a great reminder that happiness is a choice and that although this year may not go down in the books as our best spring break ever, it was still special just because we were together.

Defining Success

Our 5th swim season with the Turner Farms Marlins is in the books. It's hard to remember a time when we were not part of this special, summer swim family. It is our favorite time of year and although our end of the season banquet was just last night, I am already counting down till next year's first practice.

The kids had another great season of learning and growing. The greatest challenges they faced, however, were not in the pool, but in their own hearts and minds. Sometimes when we get used to success, to winning, it's easy to lose our focus and perspective. It's easy to forget where we started, how far we've come, how much room we still have to learn and grow, and what's truly most important. And we can start putting pressure on ourselves to ALWAYS WIN...and then beat ourselves up when we don't.

This is where we started 5 years ago (Finn's video is from just last year. I had no earlier ones.)....


They struggled to make it down the pool for freestyle. They often grabbed the lane line to take a break during a race. They sank in backstroke...and forget about butterfly. Lily cried before her first few races...I had to stand beside her, encouraging her, until she jumped in the water. Finn cried every day at practice for the entire first year. Someone often had to help him down the lane. Touching the wall...finishing the race...was an enormous accomplishment.

And here's where we are now...


Their strokes are beautiful and graceful and strong...a testament to the many hours they've put in in the pool over the last 5 years, but especially this past year. They are fast. They won a lot of races. They lost some, too. And that was hard because they've become used to winning. We had to remind them of where they started...that there was a time when finishing the race WAS THE WIN, when they would have died of happiness to come in second. When I was swimming I never won a single race. Never. I sometimes came in second, but I was never the fastest one in the pool. Not once. And while I would have loved to win just one race, it didn't take away from how much fun I had and how much I loved and still love this sport.

It's not all about the ribbons and medals. Ultimately, true success is measured by the heart. Did you try your best? Did you have fun? Did you learn something new? Did you show good sportsmanship? Did you offer encouragement to others? Did you walk in love? And, most importantly, did you keep God first and give Him all the praise and glory? If you just did that last one, you're a winner whether you won every race or just barely made it to the finish.

We've talked about all of this a lot this season. How even the best athletes lose sometimes...and how the best of the best know how to shake off that disappointment and move on to the next competition with a positive attitude. And as for mom and dad, we are excited and proud and screaming like maniacs whether they are the fastest swimmer or the slowest...because they are our MVPs just for being them.

The kids did rack up some medals this year at championships. Being the oldest in each of their age groups gave them a bit of an advantage. Next year as the youngest in their divisions, they'll be the ones who are challenged to keep up with the older swimmers. :)

1st in Freestyle, Backstroke, & Butterfly; 2nd in Individual Medley (by .3 seconds...it was a great race); 7-10 year old girls' MVP. She dropped 2 seconds off her best IM time at championships!

3rd in Breastroke (less than 1 second between 1st and 3rd...another great race), 3rd in Individual Medley (by a fingertip...such close races!), 3rd in the Freestyle Relay, and 8th in Freestyle. She dropped 41 seconds off her IM time this year! :)

1st in the Individual Medley (he caught the swimmer ahead of him on the last lap and won by a fingertip!), 3rd in Freestyle, 4th in Butterfly, & 6 and under MVP. In his IM race at championships he dropped 12 seconds off his best time! 

Emerson wanted to show off her "trophy" too. 

Eli was excited to get a Marlin cup and is looking forward to swimming next season! He has been practicing hard this summer!

 Some of my favorite pics from the season...thanks to our Marlins photographer, Kristen Howrigan!

Butterfly is not her favorite, but she is getting better!

This relay was a force to be reckoned with!

Swim friends are the best friends!

Lily and some friends led The Star Spangled Banner.

Best Buds

So proud of Finn for finishing his first IM!

Screaming like a maniac...it's what I do!

2016 6 & Unders

2016 9-10 Age Group

2016 7-8 Age Group (Missing quite a few!)

Mental Workout

Today the kids participated in our swim team's annual lap-a-thon fundraiser. The goal was to swim as many laps as possible in one hour. I love these kinds of opportunities. The chance to push yourself past what you think you can do. The chance to practice being mentally tough. Because when your body is exhausted and hurting and begging you to stop, then the challenge stops being a physical battle and becomes a mental one. And that's a major key to being successful in most aspects of life...having the mental and emotional fortitude to keep going when it's harder than you imagined it ever could be. It doesn't matter how fast, strong, or smart you are...if your "mental muscles" aren't strong, aren't ready to tough it out, then you're not going to make it.

I can't express how proud I am of these guys. I watched them work hard, refusing to quit, even when I knew they were worn out. I saw them encourage each other in the pool with a smile as they passed one another doing a lap of breastroke. And I saw that their strokes looked just as beautiful at the end of the hour as they had at the beginning. That's a testament to how strong they've become this past year, both mentally and physically.

Buggy LOVES to compete and today was no different. Even after my talk about this being a marathon, NOT a sprint, I could tell she was pushing herself as hard as she could go. Her suit gave her red burns along her sides under her arms, but she didn't complain (until afterwards) and it didn't slow her down. She racked up 84 laps today, more than a mile.

Hard to believe that this is the same boy, who only a year ago, struggled to finish just one lap. He was all smiles today and ready for a new challenge...no nerves or tears that we sometimes see in a new situation. He swam 66 laps today and each lap looked just as beautiful as the one before it.

I could tell Cassidy was nervous about today, but instead of scowling as she sometimes does when she's worried or frustrated, she glided through the water with a smile on her face. A smile that only got bigger and brighter when she finished a lap and saw me waving my arms over my head and cheering her on. She finished 76 laps today, also more than a mile.

I'm really a mermaid.

This girl is all business in her princess tiara swim cap!

Finn's backstroke is so pretty and smooth...I think he may be a backstroker!!!

Cassidy's breastroke was just lovely.

 This kid amazed me...it's like a completely different swimmer. So powerful, so confident...summer league is going to be SO FUN!!!

Beach Week

Beach week is absolutely my favorite week of the year. I look forward to it from the moment we pull out of our cottage driveway until we cross the bridge and I catch my first glimpse of the ocean again. Beach week is lazy mornings sleeping in (read 8:00 or even – gasp! – 8:30), long hours riding waves, building sand castles, digging for treasures, and lounging in the tide pools. It’s special dinners, snuggling under blankets, movie nights with buttered popcorn, homemade lemonade, outside showers, no bedtimes, having plenty of beds but opting to share your bunk with your brother.

And of all the days that week, Friday is always the sweetest. The unspoken realization that this truly is your last hurrah with the sand and the sea gives each moment even greater meaning. So you linger on the beach, watching the waves roll closer and closer as the tide comes in and listening to the happy sounds of your littles who, because they feel the bittersweet ache of the end, too, are a little kinder than usual as they try to soak up all this last day has to offer.

It’s hard to go, to leave vacation and go back to real life, but perhaps without the responsibilities of the everyday we would not understand how awesome beach week truly is. And it’s time. It’s time to turn our attention to multiplication and division, to strong verbs and quality adjectives, to chores and jobs, to schedules and routines…because all of that is good, too. And when we’re having a bad day, when fractions, or spelling, or an uncooperative student make us want to pull our hair out, we can instead close our eyes and remember our week at the beach…a week that’s waiting for us again next summer.

Highlights from Beach Week 2015: Emerson hanging for hours on the beach with the big kids and loving every minute, hide-and-seek gone wrong when Finn found himself hiding next to a snake, the never-ending entertainment that chasing seagulls provides, boys vs. girls dance-off, boogie board rides, Chopped competitions on the beach, inseparable birthday buddies, Will and his “crew,” watching “Home” on our last night, baked potato bar, laughing on the porch about mustaches, Eli falling asleep during his breathing treatments, Emerson falling asleep at the dinner table, Bean Boozled!, Emerson’s sudden burst in vocabulary (cup, cereal, cheese), Emerson cheesing for the camera, listening to Finn and Jake’s conversation about killing a spider (Finn’s weapon of choice, a knife, and Jake’s, a gun), Eli’s comment to his siblings at bedtime, “Goodnight, turds!”, American Idol karaoke, kids who are old enough to walk to the pier unsupervised, spending the week with my very best friend and 5 favorite monkeys!

Livin' the Dream

When I was in 8th grade I was sitting in the principal's office - the reason WHY is a whole other story - and she asked me what I planned to study in college, what my future career would be. Until that very moment it had not occurred to me that a 12-year-old should have already made those decisions. Feeling panicked I mumbled, "I don't know." "College is only a few years away," she responded. "You really should figure out what you want to do." That afternoon I relayed all this to my mom. Although I don't remember her exact response, I feel sure it was along the lines of, "That's ridiculous!" as she reassured me that I didn't have to make a career choice before I even became a teenager.

Fast forward a few years to East Carolina University. I still didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. Before college I had considered studying music or marine biology, but gave up on those dreams because I didn't even play one musical instrument and there was a good chance that I wouldn't land one of the 10 jobs working with the dolphins at Sea World. I ended up studying technical writing in undergrad and stayed on to get my MBA. By the time I finished grad school I still wasn't sure what job I wanted...maybe something in marketing? That kinda sounded fun. (Not exactly sound decision making, but I was 20.)

Over the next six years, I hopped from job to job trying to find the perfect fit, attempting to ignite my passion. I tried different industries, start-up and established companies...heck, I even went into teaching. Of all of them, I enjoyed teaching the most - I felt I was making at least a small impact in a positive way - but I didn't have a burning love for my job. I envied those who truly seemed excited to go to work each day.

And then I became a mom. And it was hard, and messy, and noisy, and isolating, and exhausting. But when I'd finally fought through those first couple overwhelming years, when I had a little experience under my belt and was starting to feel comfortable in this new mom "skin," I realized I had found my passion. My children. My family. The opportunity to be my children's first teacher, to train them up in God's Word so that one day they will hopefully choose to serve Him with their talents in all that they do. The privilege to cultivate a peaceful, loving, Christian environment in our home. To care for my family's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that each one feels equipped to go out each day and shine as a light for God. It doesn't get any better than that...even if the job also includes temper tantrums, dirty diapers, endless piles of laundry and dishes, longer work hours, and less sleep than I've ever experienced. In fact, I don't mind - and often enjoy - taking on extra projects, going above the "minimum required" to try to give my family the very best. I've never experienced that in any other job.

I didn't say this to anyone for a long time. Facebook friends were living in exotic places, meeting exciting people, and doing amazing things and I was sitting on the floor in my living room singing Old MacDonald for 30 minutes straight wearing no make-up and the same clothes I'd had on the day before. Parent friends would share their excitement about returning to work when their children went off to kindergarten and I would nod and smile while wondering why that same idea made my stomach turn. Why wasn't I excited, too? Shouldn't I make better use of the MBA my parents paid for than tending to toddlers? Was I being lazy? Did I just not want to have to work? Should I have a bigger, better dream for my life?

Of course this line of thinking was foolish. Your dream isn't bigger than my dream and mine isn't better than yours. It's just different. Our interests and passions are different and that's what makes life so interesting. And my concerns about laziness and the proper use of my MBA were just plain BS. I've worked harder in the last decade than I have my entire life with no forseeable end in sight. And with all the managing, organizing, delegating, and multitasking I do each day, I think it's safe to say that I'm using my education. I can simultaneously answer a question about decimals, hold the baby, listen to a social studies lesson, make a quesadilla, time a math drill, and diffuse a toddler altercation like nobody's business. Even better, I manage to keep six small people alive all day every day. Frankly, I think that's something worth celebrating. :)

So I finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to be a mom. (Wonder if I should contact my old principal and let her know.) And life is amazing because I get to live my dream.

December in Pictures

Bath Buddies

Our Bunny LOVES bathtime!

The girls sang in their first Christmas concert. They had an absolute blast and we got several comments about how animated Lily was! :)

Cassidy - all business

Our 2014 Christmas ornaments...we each get a new one every year.

We were thrilled to have Uncle Bob spend Christmas morning with us. Emerson was keeping an eye on him!

Finn bought Joey ninja turtle pj's.

Probably my favorite applique this year...ninja turtles for the boys!

Cute little bear

Elsa and Anna...it was next to impossible to find a costume to fit Cassidy, but Joey managed to score one at the last minute and she was thrilled!

Minion shoes

My Boys

Bear in the Big Blue House...I crack up every time he puts on the costume!!!

An Elsa shirt for Lily...it turned out super cute but was def a labor of love...only for my babies!

Finn remembered me telling the kids about Cootie, so when he saw it in the Walmart catalog he put it on his Christmas list!

An 8th note shirt for Cassidy...their chorus group is called the 8th notes!

It's Kevin the Minion!

A new Lilybug shirt at Buggy's request

Lots of turtle stuff this year!

Visiting Grandma and Grandpa...on the Fort Fisher Ferry!

It was so windy, Eli wouldn't look up!

Cousins!!!

Batman came with us.

LOVE!!!

Eli and Uncle John

Loving the panoramic feature on our new camera!

The kids loved the touch tank at the aquarium.

Even Emerson got into the action.

Emerson with Uncle John

Emerson with Daddy

The kids and I have really gotten into American History over the last year, so we especially enjoyed visiting Fort Fisher!

We loved getting to walk inside the actual fort!

It was amazing to think about how much time and effort went into building the fort without the luxury of modern technology!