Stay-at-Home Mom Rebuttal

I am so proud to be a stay-at-home mom. I think it is by far the most important thing I could be doing with my life and that my children benefit immeasurably from the choices and sacrifices Joey and I have made regarding their care. My #1 priority is to be their first and most important teacher during these critical years of development, hopefully giving them the confidence, knowledge, tools, and unconditional love to be successful in all that they endeavor to do.

Unfortunately, I don't think our culture values the role of the stay-at-home parent. I hear comments like, "I would be so bored. I know you just feel like you stand at the sink washing dishes all day," "We could never afford to do that," or "I need my job to feel fufilled." While it's everyone's right to make their own decisions regarding their children's care, it frustrates me the assumptions that are made concerning what I do as a stay-at-home mom.

Assumption #1: My job is easy.
HA! Trade jobs with me for a day, a week, a month. Do EVERYTHING I do in a day and then tell me staying at home is a cake walk! I do not spend the day sitting on the couch eating bon-bons and watching soap operas. I am up at 5:45 a.m. every morning and ready to greet Bennett (the little boy I keep) at 6:30 a.m. with a smile on my face. My day is filled with cooking, cleaning, laundry, games and learning activities for the children, grocery shopping (always with at least one child in tow), chauffer services to and from preschool, library trips, picnics at the park, reading, reading, and more reading, doctor's appointments (I've been to 2 ultrasounds with 3 kids in tow just in the last month!), misc. errands, refereeing arguments and fights, ettiquite lessons, behavior modification, and educational discussions and lessons of any and every kind. My job requires large amounts of manual labor and heavy lifting...there is no exemption clause in my contract for when I am 34 weeks pregnant. I work 365 days a year and I have no sick days, vacation days, lunch breaks, or even bathroom breaks as there is usually at least one person accompanying me on any trip to the restroom.

Assumption #2: My job is boring.
Having discussed my responsibilities under Assumption #1, I think we can safely say my job is not boring. Some tasks are not fun...I don't particularly relish wiping up the floor under the table 3 times a day...and some things do get old...like reading the same book with enthusiasm for the millionth time...but there are things at any job that aren't particularly fun. I believe that ANY job is what you make of it. If you want your job to be exciting and fufilling it is up to you to make it that way. I try to get excited about things as simple as a trip to the library because when you are excited the kids are excited...and they benefit from the experiences you are giving them. I seek out things for us to do that are new and different, I come up with activities that are fun and interesting. I engage with them, I talk to them, I encourage them to try new things and challenge themselves whether they are playing a game, working on an art project, or simply trying to put on their own shoes...as parents we are their best teachers. They are sponges and just simple conversation around the lunch table can broaden their vocabulary and make a new wrinkle in their brain as we discuss the spider on the window or how babies grow and change inside their mommy's tummy. I have the privilege and challenge to prepare these little people for life, to give them a headstart in school, and to make them feel loved and secure in a way that a daycare never could. I call that anything but boring.

Assumption #3: We must be rich. Only rich people could afford to stay at home.
We are certainly not rich...I am married to a public school teacher for crying out loud! :) I think it all comes down to priorities. There are so many things that we as Americans take for granted - that we see as necessities, but they are actually luxuries. We have a very tight budget and we don't go out to eat, spend tons of money at Christmas, or take expensive vacations every year. I buy the kids clothes and toys on consignment or happily accept hand-me-downs. I have not had new clothes since Cassidy was born, unless someone gave me a gift card or bought them for me as a gift. Joey's shoes literaly blow apart before we buy him a new pair. I clip coupons and visit as many as 4 grocery stores each week to get the best bargains. But, we don't care. We are rich in love and the experience of raising our children every minute of every day. Those moments are precious and will be gone in the blink of an eye so we try to savor each and every one.

Anyway, I'll step off my soapbox now. I am so proud and thankful for all my stay-at-home mothers, for their hard work, sacrifice, and friendship and I hope each one knows how invaluable they are to their families and to our community!