How to Have a Practically Perfect 33rd Birthday

Roll out of bed at 6:15 and jump in the shower. Notice that the water doesn't sting your sunburn nearly as much as yesterday. Throw on old, cut-off sweat shorts and a Hamstring Hustle 5K t-shirt from 2001. You no longer concern yourself with fashion or even looking presentable most days. Head for the stairs, meeting the middle child in the hallway who greets you with, "Mommy, remember it's your birthday today!"

Make your way downstairs and fix a lunchbox for one and breakfast for four. Run back upstairs to get the baby. He shows you his blankie and lambie - he'll insist you acknowledge their existance about 100 more times throughout the day. Carry baby, blankie, and lambie down to breakfast...love how he snuggles up on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your neck. He is so soft and cuddly...you will never tire of this.

Your eldest asks if you can read the bible to them over breakfast. Of course. Can she choose what we read? How 'bout letting Mommy choose since it's her birthday? She amiably agrees - a minor miracle. After kissing husband goodbye, sit down and read I Corinthians 13 to the kids. Explain charity to them...the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation. Make a personal commitment to do a better job renewing own mind and walking with the love of God towards others. Use eldest daughter spilling cereal all over the table as first opportunity to walk in love.

Take oldest to school. Hug her when you bump heads on her way out of the van. Dry her tears, feel her squeeze you a little tighter (even after 5 years, it still takes your breath away), and tell her that she just made your birthday as you try to choke down the lump forming in your throat.

Hit Walmart with younger kids to buy super glue in an attempt to salvage sandals that are falling apart. Find the perfect birthday gifts for middle daughter - SHE actually finds them and has death grip on them - and rejoice when customer service agrees to hold them until husband can come purchase them after work...even though they "aren't supposed to do that." Tell middle child that you are not buying anything today, but that we were "just looking." Try to ignore inquiries about where the toys went and if she is getting them for her birthday. Buy a gigantic watermelon. Completely forget about the original purpose of the shopping trip...super glue.

When the kids decide they are hungry at 10:30 a.m., decide that it's a perfectly acceptable time to have lunch. After all, it's your birthday. Feed them Cheerios, bread, carrots, watermelon, and gummies for dessert. Eat leftover lo mein cold and directly from the container. Wash it down with a slice of chocolate pecan pie that your mother brought to you the night before.

Scream and run as the baby chases you around the kitchen island. Pretend to be terrified as he laughs hysterically. Play trucks and read books with the kids while repairman FINALLY fixes your oven...it's only been broken 6 weeks. Heave huge sigh of relief when invoice shows that parts required for repair cost more than the warranty you decided to purchase. Thank goodness you made that wise choice.

Stealing an idea from one of your BFFs, use Scrabble tiles to practice spelling words with middle daughter. Be impressed with how well she sounds out words on her own to figure out what letter comes next. Agree to play actual Scrabble game with her, even though she can't REALLY play. Feel surprised and pleased when she hangs in a good ten minutes before losing interest. (Also feel relieved because you were starting to have a hard time thinking of how to fit words into the puzzle.) Decide you now need a physical activity and enlist her to help you clean the bathrooms.

Pick up oldest from school. Melt when she wants to make you a birthday card using the colors you chose during a discussion at breakfast. While she works on her card and the middle daughter plays JumpStart Kindergarten, sort blocks with the baby. Cheer loudly when he correctly identifies a shape or color...marvel at how he is learning even though you don't spend nearly as much time working with him as you did the older two. When your oldest presents you with her masterpiece, tell her it's the best card you have ever received...after all, there is nothing sweeter in this world than a card with "I love you, Mommy. You are sweet." scrawled on it in your child's handwriting. When you hug her, she feels hotter than normal. Feel her forehead...it is warm. Take her temp...fever. Read her some books, put her in her jammies, and park her on the couch in front of the TV along with the other two.

Make dinner...salmon, sweet potatoes, and edamame. The one with the fever doesn't want to eat. Check her temp again...it's creeping up. Motrin and back on the couch in front of the TV. Shrug off thoughts about the ills of too much TV...sick days and birthdays are exceptions to the rule. Watch My Little Pony and Jem and the Holograms, regaling the children with stories of how you used to watch these shows when you were little. Give everyone a 1/2 piece of pie for dessert. Hide behind the kitchen counter and devour 2 pieces of pie where no one can see you and demand to know why you get more than them. Ignore the fact that all that pie will only add to the last 5 pounds of baby weight you can't seem to shake.

While cleaning the kitchen, step on a sticky sweet potato peel. Next to the peel is a rather large chunk of someone's pie. Not surprised to find the peel on the floor, but you are shocked that someone didn't go after the dropped pie. Throw it away before you are tempted to eat it and clean brown sweet potato juice off your foot.

Help oldest with her homework..."Write as many sight words as you can in one minute." A perfectionist, she gets easily riled, so try to make it sound as easy and fun as possible. Definitely NOT a contest. Set the timer and let her work in silence. Comfort her when she cries when the timer beeps because she had not written 10 words. There was no word minimum set by the teacher, but unbeknownst to you she had set one for herself. Insist that it is perfectly fine to add one more word to her list even though technically time was up - she had already written nine - and reiterate that it was JUST HOMEWORK.

Read more books to the kids. Rock, cuddle, hug, kiss, sing, and tuck everyone into bed. Tell each thank you for making your birthday so special. Wait patiently while the oldest takes an eternity to arrange her stuffed animals on her bed  - and cries again because she can't figure out where Gabriella the Sock Monkey should go - and listen patiently while the middle child lists reasons why we need three desserts for your birthday. Soak up as many hugs and kisses as each one is willing to give...it's usually a lot.

Sneak downstairs to clean up and wait for your husband who finishes work at 9:00 and then - thanks to you - still has to go to Walmart to pick up birthday presents and a bag of baby carrots (you forgot it was the oldest's turn to bring snack to school tomorrow). Take a moment to thank God for all your blessings...a beautiful family, wonderful friends, a healthy body that has the strength and energy to work hard and play hard each day, all of your needs being met perfectly, His great love, mercy, and grace, and His Son, Jesus Christ. Thank Him for this wonderful day...a day to remember how beautiful your simple, ordinary, everyday life truly is. No fanfare, no presents, no fancy dinners, pampering, or extravagant trips...but a day filled with all that is dear, all that is truly important, and all the moments that make life worth living. It's been a practically perfect day...and you get to do it all over again tomorrow...maybe minus the three slices of pie.