In Memory and Honor of My Mema

I Thessalonians 4:13-18

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

Lillian Josephine Cooper, 3 months

Lillian Josephine Cooper, my Mema, was born October 19, 1917 in Savannah, Georgia. She had one younger brother, Fred.

Mema and Uncle Fred at my wedding, June 10, 2000

As a child she used to take the train with her grandmother to visit Aunt Lila (her mother's sister) in Rich Square, North Carolina. Uncle Goldwire (what a name!) worked for the railroad and was able to get them passes. Her father died from an infection after having a tonsillectomy when she was still a teenager...sadly, penicillin was discovered just two years later.

Lillian Josephine Cooper, 15 months

NOT a good hair day for Mema!

Mema always loved literature and dramatics. She even auditioned to be an extra in Gone With the Wind. Apparently the production fell through several times before the movie was finally made, so she did not have a part in the film, but I always thought that it was still such an exciting story. She told me once that she would have liked to play the part of Melanie. She also loved history (she actually would LOVE that I was documenting what I remember about her life) and had traced our family ancestry back to the Mayflower. She was an active leader in the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). One time she was in charge of putting on a period fashion show for the DAR and she roped my mom into being one of the models. My mom was not thrilled, but figured at least she'd get to wear a pretty dress; however when she arrived at the event she was assigned a servant's outfit. To add insult to injury, the costume was about 5 sizes too big! I wish I had a picture...



Mema, fallen asleep while reading



Lillian Josephine Cooper, High School Graduation Portrait

After graduating from high school on June 1 (my birthday), 1935 she enrolled in a small college and earned her teaching degree. She took a job teaching at a small school in Rich Square, which is where she met my grandfather. They were married on November 8, 1941...Pearl Harbor was bombed a month later...and soon Gran was sent to California to be shipped overseas. (Gran was a fighter pilot.) He promised to send for Mema if he was going to be in California any length of time, but his orders kept changing so he would call and tell her to come and then call right back and say, "Don't come. I'll be gone by the time you get here." Finally, Mema Bolton (Gran's mother) told Mema to just go. With the country at war, train tickets were impossible to come by, but Uncle Goldwire managed to get Mema a boarding pass. She met several interesting people on her trip, including another soldier who helped her run from one train to the next  to make her connection...all the while begging her to stay and marry him! What a strange time it must have been for the young people.

Mema and Gran...I have NO idea where they are or what they're doing, but it looks like they're having fun!

 

My favorite picture of Mema and Gran...absolutely breathtaking!



Mema and Gran's wedding announcement

Mema and Gran's Wedding Invitation

Mema made it safely to California and to Gran and they were able to spend about a week together. It was supposed to be a big secret where his ship was docked, but some of the other wives found out where it was, so at the last minute they all jumped into a car, drove to the dock, stood on the end, and waved their hankies as the ship sailed into the horizon. Mema returned home and prayed for the safe return of her husband, her brother, and her two brothers-in-law, all of whom were fighting in different places in the world. Miraculously, all four men returned safely home to their families.

Mema and some other Airforce wives





I had no idea that Mema knew how to shoot a gun!

After a bout with appendicitis that nearly took his life, Gran returned to the states. The Airforce made him a flight instructor and he and Mema enjoyed living and working all over the country. Mema was always very social and loving going and doing whatever Gran wanted to do. As I danced with him on my wedding day, Gran told me that he and Mema loved going to the USO Clubs and dancing.

After the war, Mema and Gran settled in Richmond, Virginia at 3717 Moss Side Avenue where they raised four children and a number of pets, including cats, dogs, birds, ducks, a pig, and a squirrel. She never seemed to mind the noise of a busy house. Mema went back to teaching school and would sometimes take the squirrel with her and let it sleep in her shirt pocket. She and Gran were in attendance at every football game, swim meet, and any other activity of the children's and she would always wait up for the girls when they were at dances or parties so that she could hear about all the fun when they arrived home. Their home was warm and inviting, full of love and laughter and light.

A devoted wife, Mema always went along with whatever Gran wanted to do...and he never did anything without her. When he wanted to join the church choir, she joined too even though she was a terrible singer. She used to say she would just pretend to sing. :)


Mema and Gran's 45th Wedding Anniversary Party (There are quite a few unfortunate hair 'dos in that group!)



Mema and Gran with their children, Monk, Susan, Beverly, and Stafford



Mema and Gran...truly a beautiful couple

Feeding each other cake.



Mema and Gran celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary...even Vera of England was present for the celebration!

Mema and Gran traveled with their church choir to England on a couple of occasions. Mema was in absolute hog heaven...she loved the history, meeting new people, and seeing all the sights. While they were there, they made a number of good friends through the churches that would host them. One friend in particular became a life-long friend. Her name is Vera Taylor and she regularly visited my grandparents in Richmond, staying for a month or more at a time. She was in attendance for many family events...she even made it to my wedding. Mema always introduced her as Vera of England as if she was old British nobility, which always made us laugh. Vera, who is as good humored as my grandparents, ran with the joke and signed the wedding frame that hangs now in my dining room "Vera of England."

Mema and Gran with Cassidy and Lily, Thanksgiving 2007

Mema always said that she was SO lucky that Gran adored babies because when she would get tired of hers, she would just hand them off to him!

Such an amazing example to all of us...Thanksgiving 2008

Mema and Gran with Sue, Monk, and Bev, Thanksgiving 2009

Mema and Gran with 7 of their 8 great-grandchildren

Mema and Gran with all their children, Bev, Sue, Stafford, and Monk

My grandparents were married for 70 years...more than a lifetime for some. I am sure they had challenges along the way as we all do, but they stuck together, hand in hand. The last time I saw Mema and Gran was in April. Mema's memory was not good and she did not know my name, but her face lit up with recognition when she saw me. "Oh! It's you! It's my family!" "Hi, Mema! It's Tracey!" "Oh, Tracey, dahlin'!" She pulled me in and held me tight. We walked to her room together and as we turned the corner she saw Gran. "Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you! Where have you been?" she asked him excitedly. "Hold my hand!" she demanded and as her hand gripped his she talked of what a beautiful life they had had together. She didn't recall the details, but she knew they had shared something precious...70 years of love and laughter. It was a beautiful day. She held my hand and chatted happily about the past. As was her nature, she hardly drew breath, but she finally said, "Oh, now I'm just going on and on and you didn't come here to listen to me." "Of course I did, Mema. I came to see you!" Despite the confusion of her memory, her sweet, bubbly personality remained and it was such a blessing, an honor, and a privilege to be in her presence.

Mema oozed southern charm. I loved to listen to her talk because she used words like "dahlin'" and "mahvelous." She liked to laugh and talk...and she did both, a lot. She had the most lovely, delicate hands you've ever seen and long, beautiful fingernails. As children, we would line up to have our backs gently scratched...I remember thinking I'd never seen my cousin Mark sit so still and quiet as he did when Mema was scratching his back. Whenever we gathered in Richmond for Thanksgiving or Christmas we'd play Trivial Pursuit...boys vs. girls, although it was really a competition between Mema and Gran because they were the ones that knew all the answers!

Four Generations of Cooper Women - Mema, Mema Cooper, ME, and Mom

Me with Mema and Gran

Me and Mema in her kitchen - You can't see, but I'm standing on a big piece of pottery that was always filled with birdseed. We used to love to go outside and feed the birds!

Occasionally my sisters and I would stay with Mema and Gran while my parents would attend a bible conference. One visit I remember in particular because of the special time I got to spend with Mema. She would take me with her to run errands and to get her hair done. While she was sitting under the dryer she gave me money and sent me down the hall to the drug store to buy myself a candy bar. I could not have been more than 6 years old, but I'm sure it was not uncommon in the days of no seatbelts and carseats to give children that kind of freedom. In the evenings, Mema would let me stay up later than my sisters. We'd sit at her little, round kitchen table and talk while she typed up DAR stuff on her old typewriter. It would take her forever - she was a hunt-and-peck typer - but I loved every minute of it. I felt so grown up sitting and talking with her.

Mema LOVED the beach. She used to come to Nags Head with us and loved sitting in the water.

More portraits...she was so lovely.

This is one of my favorites.

With Airforce wings on

Mema with some friends...she always had lots!

Love the old car in the background...and her sweet dress.



Mom and Mema, Summer 2006



Mema with Great Aunt Brownie...who lived to be 104. We live long, wonderful lives in this family!

We named our Lily Anne in honor of my Mema.

Here Mema is meeting her for the first time.

The Two Lilys...beauty beyond words.

Mema was SO pleased to have a namesake. In the dining room that day each time we would tell someone Lily's name, Mema would say, "Named after ME!!!"

Great Grandmother, Grandmother, and Granddaughter

Four Generations of Bolton Women - Mema, Lily, Mom, and Me

Mema visiting with Cassidy - July 2008

Mema holding Finnegan Michael - Thanksgiving 2009

Mema talking with Finny - Thanksgiving 2010

I don't feel like my ramblings here have done my Mema justice, but I don't think any amount of words or memories can sum up the beautiful, amazing person she was. She was such an integral part of my life and she will always be a part of who I am. I will remember her and celebrate her when I look into my own Lily Anne's face and remark for the millionth time how her fire and spunk reminds me of Mema. I will smile when I use the words "dahlin'," "mahvelous," and "horrified" (another of her favorites) and I will stretch the word out a little more and allow my southern drawl to get a little deeper for a moment as I remember the way her voice sounded when she said them. I will laugh when I tell my children the story of her getting flashed in England. I will feel strong when I think of her bravely carrying on while all the men in her family were at war, breaking her arm while fighting a mugger, and battling breast cancer all the while joking about asking the doctors to take some pounds off her other breast, too. I will remember that we share the same blood and I will stand a little taller, work a little harder, be a little braver.

UNTIL THEN

My heart can sing when I pause to remember,

A heartache here is but a stepping stone.

Along a trail that's winding always upward,

This troubled world is not my final home.

But until then my heart will go on singing,

Until then with joy I'll carry on,

Until the day my eyes behold his coming,

Until the day God calls me home.

The things of earth are only temporary,

Remember they are borrowed for awhile.

But things not seen are made of God eternal,

His joy, His peace, His spirit they are mine.

But until then my heart will go on singing

Until then with joy I'll carry on

Until the day my eyes behold his coming

Until the day God calls me home.

Until then...you will always be in our hearts.

Lillian Josephine Cooper Bolton (October 19, 1917 - July 2, 2011)